sofa slipcovers linked to weight gain!

Once upon a time there was a masculine sofa upholstered in stripes of dark burgundy, green and ochre. Good, solid sofa. Mickey's sofa that he purchased in the early nineties for his starter home, before I entered the picture. With great effort and sweat - Jeff, Rob, and Kevin, our gratitude will never end - it made it into the playroom of our new house in April 2007. You have to see the narrow stairways, with a small landing at the bottom, to gain some understanding of what it took these brave men to maneuver and carry the good, solid, and HEAVY sofa all the way into that room above the garage. Please, don't misunderstand me. There is nothing wrong about the early nineties and/or masculine sofas. Absolutely nothing. However, when it is the turn of a new generation to use it, it can definitely use a tiny bit of help. Think about it. The 90s sofa is now the playground of two boys born post-2000. I agree. It probably never entered THEIR minds that their comfy seats were in need of an update, but it entered mine a long time ago. And what would be easier than a nice, ready-made, machine-washable, 100% cotton slipcover in a color that looks a little more like the first decade of the 21st century? I did have serious doubts though. I even remembered a TV segment (maybe on the Today show) where somebody demonstrated how to cover a sofa for the sole purpose of seeing whether it would look like the picture on the package. And it didn't... but I finally decided that they probably came a long way in slipcover manufacturing since then. I made up my mind to give it a try myself. Thus, on a Saturday not too long ago, between afternoon and evening, the inevitable happened. I returned home from Target with a baby present for a baby shower - the main purpose of the shopping trip. I warned Mickey: "sorry, that's not all I bought." It did sadden him a little to learn that some brand new home decor items were still in the back of the van. In addition to the slipcover I acquired a few toss pillows and a small kitchen rug with a rubbery back, much needed little rug because the one we have keeps sliding when you stand on it to wash the dishes. Rather hazardous, wouldn't you agree? Well, I cooked a healthy dinner of broiled salmon and steamed vegetables for the four of us, I washed the dishes - the new rug didn't slip from under my feet, yippee!- and then, you guessed it, I went upstairs to slipcover the sofa. It was a real wrestling match, with the cushions now winning, now losing. I had to go around the sofa to work on the back, almost on my knees because the roof slopes drastically along that side of the room, and any sudden move can result in head injuries against the low ceiling. It was a real workout with excess fabric having to be tucked in everywhere. After finishing the job, hot and tired from all the exertion, I made a quick stop at our freezer and gobbled up an Archer Farms premium dipped chocolate ice cream bar with rich chocolate coating. The whole 230 calories, 22 g sugar, and 15 g of fat!! Right after that perfect dinner of lean fish and veggies! As for the slipcover, here are some lessons learnt:

1. set the thermostat in the room where you install the slipcover at about 50 F.
2. work with a buddy.
3. drink plenty of water.
4. before you begin, determine that your reward will be something like a new pair of pointy shoes in your favorite hue, NOT something that will make your taste buds dance with delight!

In conclusion, does the masculine, now for-the-boys sofa look exactly like the one pictured on the bag? Well, no. Not really. It mainly has to do with the fact that it should have been ironed after it came out of its bag. You won't believe what ad I came across on my e-way to the Blogger Dashboard. A Rowenta Iron and Steamer!! In the ad, a beautiful woman, dressed in what looked like a business suit, held the iron like a gun, and shot at an invisible target with a long stream of hot, hot, hot steam. She seemed ecstatic. Yes, that's exactly what my new slipcover would love. There is only one tiny obstacle: the unbelievable Rowenta Iron and Steamer is about $155 before shipping and handling. For now, it will have to be put on hold. Mickey doesn't need to become any sadder.

The beauty of the whole story is this: Eli lost a tooth on Sunday, during Bible class; when he discovered the new look of the sofa, on Monday morning, he excitedly yelled from upstairs that the tooth fairy got him a new sofa. And because the plastic bag in which the slipcover was packed was still on the floor, he told us the new sofa came out of that bag! That tooth fairy is a darling, if you ask me.

Thanks for reading!

Slipcovered sofa with unidentified non-flying object on the floor.
Not exactly "like the picture", but not too bad (above).

Good picture for an I spy exercise (below).